“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”
Trust is knowing someone,
Trust is believing in someone,
Trust is giving another person the keys to you most inner secrets, which is the main reason your hurt is great when you lose it!
It is not taken nor taken for granted, you cannot buy it, you cannot assume it, yet we tend to give it freely.
What to do when you lose it?
Moreover what to do if you squandered it on some spur, some out of the blue motive?
“I am sorry, I know I hurt you, and I promise it will not happen again.”
Most of the time; you will say it in a single breath; Let us break this long sentence into the points you are trying to squeeze in:
I am sorry:
The most important part of your efforts to restore your loved one’s trust in you starts with a simple apology; it is expected and in some cases appreciated:
- Say it right away: Do not give the incident any time to fester, raw emotions are unpredictable and uncontrollable, do not dwell on it though.
- Expect the worse in return: But hope for the best; Stay humble and be prepared for a scolding that ranges from the slap on the hand:” It is OK”, to the final and disastrous: “We are over”.
- Say it and mean it: Any person in emotional pain have a low threshold for getting angry and acting ”Emotional” , faking it will only throw fuel on the fire.
I know I hurt you:
Admission of guilt
shows your partner that you are taking full responsibility for your wrong deed, while sympathy for the pain you did cause reveals your understanding of what it brought on her / her and what he /she is going through at the moment.
Trust between you and your partner was not gained in a day; it took time and a lot of effort on both sides, so it is going to take time and patience to rebuild it again. Your commitment to keeping that promise (come what may) is what makes or breaks your relationship.
It will not happen again:
Not just by spoken words; your everyday actions must be carefully thought of, if you are going to the market for an instance; you should come back home with purchases, no matter how silly this might look because you are under scrutiny at any given moment. If you are serious about keeping your relation going; do whatever needed to assure your partner.
We are human; we make mistakes, but it is how we correct them that keeps our life and our relationship going the right way,
Trust me on this!
© 2011, M Z. All rights reserved.
- Lost and Found:Trust